


Orange torches against the rain

by ConvenientAlias



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Crying, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 23:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20938226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvenientAlias/pseuds/ConvenientAlias
Summary: Cassie isn't in the mood.





	Orange torches against the rain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alana/gifts).

Outside the barn, the air was starting to mist with rain. Ax and the Animorphs had been debriefing for more than an hour—this mission had caused them to split up for a while, and given it had been a raid of a newly discovered Yeerk base, they’d all had some harrowing experiences. And Tobias and Rachel had made some new discoveries, which they were eager to discuss at length.

But it was getting late. And the mission itself had been harder than expected. And Cassie knew it was important that they discuss all these things, so very important to saving the world and beating the Yeerks and all that shit, but she really, really wanted for the day to be over.

“My parents said they might be checking in on the wolf tonight,” she said at last. A small lie. “We should probably head out before they do.”

<We could regroup at my scoop,> Ax said helpfully. <I’d like to hear more about this machine you saw, Tobias…>

“Maybe Tobias could tell you about that,” Cassie said, “and the rest of us could go home.”

Everyone looked at her.

“It’s raining,” Cassie said, “and it’s only going to rain harder. We checked the forecast before the mission, remember? Showers in the evening, and it’s almost evening now. Besides, we have school tomorrow. I bet Marco at least hasn’t done his homework.”

“That’s an unnecessary dig,” Marco said, crossing his arms. But he didn’t seem really offended. “I can finish it all in an hour. You should worry about your own homework. But then, that’s not really why you want us to go, is it?”

It wasn’t. Cassie was tired; she even felt a little sick. Her day hadn’t been as exhilarating as Tobias or Rachel’s. But she could tell by the way Marco was wiggling his eyebrows that he was implying something different, so she indulged him by raising her own eyebrows and asking, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, obviously you’re impatient to get Rachel alone so the two of you can have victory sex,” Marco said.

Cassie sighed.

Marco was not entirely wrong about the “victory sex”. It had started about a month ago. Cassie didn’t really like thinking of it as “victory sex”, though—much too cheesy. She thought of it as “hooking up” or “that thing me and Rachel do these days”, depending on whether she was feeling cool or evasive at the moment.

But Marco was still kind of right; it was definitely a post-mission-buzz kind of deal. The first time had been after a very successful mission, one of those rare ones that left both Cassie and Rachel feeling they had actually accomplished something but still feeling restless at the same time. In retrospect, it had been largely a matter of adrenalin. Since then, they’d hooked up once or twice just casual, but more often it happened after a mission. And, of course, if the mission was a failure they were often left feeling too depressed and despondent to really get into it, so… victory sex. It was kind of a thing, even if Cassie thought if sounded goofy. Maybe that was just the kind of goofy battle couple she and Rachel were.

(She wished it felt like that. Like they were cool teenage spies, like this whole war was some kind of sexy secret, rather than the real, pressing, heavy thing it was. For moments at a time, with Rachel by her side, she could pretend.)

Anyway. She sort of wished she and Rachel had been a little more subtle about “that thing they were doing these days” because ever since he found out, Marco commented about it at every given opportunity, and the others could be kind of nosy as well. Jake had gravely taken her aside and told her he supported their relationship and thought she was good for Rachel (no pressure), and Ax had asked many questions about human mating habits, and Tobias had started acting awkward every time she and Rachel were in the same room with him. On the other hand, though, at least she knew the team was behind her and Rachel, and that was something she did appreciate.

Except right now, because now they were all glancing at each other, and Rachel was looking simultaneously a little embarrassed and a little smug, and Jake cleared his throat. “Right, well, obviously we learned a lot today. We’ll sleep on it…”

“Cassie and Rachel in particular will sleep on it,” Marco simpered.

“…and talk again tomorrow, after school. For now, let’s all head out.”

Cassie’s face heated.

Victory sex was a thing, and today had technically been a victory, but… it wasn’t why she’d wanted them to leave. And she wasn’t even sure she was in the mood right now. But Rachel was lingering with a grin on her face, so she smiled back and said, “Let’s go back to my place, then.”

* * *

Rachel apparently was very much in the mood.

She was all over Cassie the minute they were in Cassie’s room; quick, hard kisses and light, skimming touches. Cassie tried her best to respond, but she wasn’t quite there. It felt good, yeah, Rachel touching her. It was good to have Rachel here with her, and to be alone with Rachel. Today hadn’t been as good a day for her as for Rachel. At the base, she’d discovered some people were Controllers that she hadn’t known about before—that and she’d gotten into a fight with some Hork Bajir. She supposed both events had been a victory. She’d left the fight intact and the Hork Bajir hadn’t; knowing about new Controllers was valuable intel. Today was a net positive. She’d left her enemies’ blood pooled on the floor and discovered even more people she knew were enslaved. It was good to have Rachel here, safe, in her arms.

But apparently she’d stopped responding, because Rachel took a step back. “Cassie? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing,” Cassie said, because an alien invasion didn’t count as wrong these days. “Hey, don’t leave me hanging.” She tried to smile, but apparently it didn’t come out too well, because Rachel’s face reflected back only horrified concern. Cassie reached out to grab her arm, unsure whether she wanted to comfort her or draw her back into a kiss. It didn’t matter. Somehow, the moment their skin touched again, she was undone, and found herself breaking into a sob.

Rachel’s arms closed around her, awkwardly loose for Rachel. She rubbed Cassie’s back. “Hey, Cassie… It’s all right.”

“Sure, yeah, it’s fine. Just give me a minute.” Cassie took a deep breath and looked up, but when she met Rachel’s worried eyes, she started crying again immediately, leaving them in the same position as before.

They ended up sitting on Cassie’s bed, one of Rachel’s arms slung around Cassie’s shoulder, Cassie still shaking with a last couple sobs. She couldn’t make herself look at Rachel. It was too embarrassing. Not that Rachel would judge her for crying. Rachel wasn’t like that. But usually, after a mission, Cassie would be the one to give Rachel support, to listen to Rachel’s worries over the violence she had committed or the horrors she’d seen. Sometimes Cassie was even the one to give Jake support over the hard decisions he made, or to comfort Ax over missing his home planet, or to give Tobias or Marco whatever kind of reassurance they needed on a day to day basis. She was supposed to be able to hold herself together and support everyone else, stay strong.

But she couldn’t always take it. The others thought she had insane levels of emotional intelligence or something, that she was able to process these things and handle them so much better than she really could. Honestly? She had no more idea what she was doing than any of the rest of them, and she really didn’t know why any of them thought otherwise.

Then again, Rachel didn’t seem too shocked by seeing her break down, not after the initial bewilderment. Now she was calm, squeezing Cassie lightly and murmuring stupidly comforting platitudes. Of course Rachel always knew Cassie better than Cassie thought.

“I’m sorry,” Cassie said, when she was all cried out and had wiped her face off and was mostly just feeling tired. “I don’t know what that was.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Rachel said. “If I were able to cry, I would too.”

Cassie had seen Rachel cry a few times at the beginning of the war. That hadn’t happened in months, maybe years.

“I don’t know what it was about today that got to me,” Cassie said. “There was a fight, I guess… not a bad one, though. Just… I guess it was a bad day.”

Rachel nodded. “We still won, though. You have to remember that.”

It rarely felt like winning. But Cassie accepted the words and nodded back.

Rachel slapped her on the back one last time and ran off to get her a glass of water.

Cassie looked out the window. The misting rain from earlier had turned into a shower. It hit the roof in drumming, rattling rhythm. On the ground, small puddles were turning into miniature lakes, with little streams running down every incline. She hoped Ax and Tobias were safely sheltered in Ax’s scoop, though they had weathered worse in the past. Her mind skipped, too, to Jake and Marco in their houses, probably working on their homework like she had suggested. At this rate she would only get to working on her homework between periods or during class tomorrow—on the down low, of course—unless she pulled an all-nighter, started working right now…

Rachel popped back in with a very full glass. Much too full. Cassie sipped the top of it and put it down on her bedside table. “You’re really sweet, you know that?”

“I’m the perfect girlfriend.” Rachel struck a pose with her hips jutted out. It was not a very sweet pose. Cassie laughed, even though her throat ached from crying.

“Yeah. Yeah, you kind of are.” She pulled Rachel in by the waist and kissed her. “So… victory sex?”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Amy Lowell's "Summer Rain".


End file.
